Shh...., Samuel Beckett is whispering in my ear.

Shh...., Samuel Beckett is whispering in my ear.

"Ever tried. Ever failed. No matter. Try Again. Fail again. Fail better."

Oh, now I can hear his utterance, but I am full of nonsense. 

The professional space that I currently find myself in, that of being an artist, constantly reminds me of the fact that I am indeed a human being. Overall, my thoughts and doings thus far, forcefully sharpen my perception to the fact that being human does not refer to a state of completeness. Rather, it refers to a fluid, ongoing and not necessarily harmonious process of becoming. Such a process is characterised by chaos. Normally, chaos has negative connotations within the context of society. It is likened to notions such as violence, tragedy, disaster etc. all which disrupt the familiar and mundane flows of manifestation. However, society tends to neglect the reality that most phenomena, be they political, economical, natural or otherwise are a form and/or result of chaos. Hence the need to understand and perceive chaos as the existence of countless possibilities that can or will shape and constitute a reality or outcome within time and space. In most cases, I would argue, such possibilities are hardly ever homogeneous or simple due to their unique qualities and nuances. Thus, chaos, which is the essential character of matter, disrupts and disqualifies the romantics attached to the notion of the singular and complete.

The volume of possibilities that constitute chaos maily purports that (human) nature's workings do not unfold through anything other than the activity of trying, which is utterly endless. In my understanding, such a trying means experimentation through movement within material/physical and immaterial/metaphysical time and space. Based on a consideration of the nature of my professional (arts) practice, which I consider to be a prototype of (human) existence and nature due its chaotic character, one can go to the extent of asserting that life is trying. Additionally, trying is failing. Failing, in this sense, is not indicative of incompetency nor does it refer to a lack of mastery in one practice or another. Rather, it refers to the fore-mentioned endless process of becoming in the form of learning and unlearning to move i.e. try within a particular time and space. Nature, which we and the world we inhabit are part of, functions through failing. It produces matter that does not matter to and of itself. Most probably, its capacity to create is not fixated on meaning. Its only function/intention is to relentlessly and continuously expand infinitely as its mode of becoming. I am certainly aware of the grounded scientific laws and philosophical meditations that explicate the 'why's', 'how's' and 'what's' of nature on earth and existence as far as humanity can materially fathom. I have also come across humanly meditations of various forms that clearly offer an explication of chaos as the primary denominator that pivots nature and existence as it has been conjured by our faculty of thought as a species or social memory complex inhabiting one plane within the endlessness of the universe. However, my (humanly) experiences point to the need for one to attempt to contribute to the meditations that seek to reveal the problematics contained the romance of completion, destination and singularity.

I do accept that this excerpt is potentially flooded by oversimplifications. It is, I hope, a complete failure. My hope stems from my need to endlessly try to fail again. Anyway, I am an artist. I fail.